Oakie Plays

Hi errbody! Hope you had a Merry Christmas! Happy New Year, too! I had a great Christmas. I mean, just look at all the presents I got! Woohoo! Just kidding, none of those were for me. They were human gifts. How thoughtless of those humans to exclude me from their gift giving. I give so much of my cuteness to them and what do I get in return? Nothing! Well, that’s not completely true. They hug and pet me and give me cookies. ME LOVE COOKIE!!!

xx,
Oakie

Ello, govna! Oakie checking in on his millions of readers! Did you miss me? Sorry I don’t blog much. Mama always leaves the computer high up on the desk, and I can’t reach it. It’s pretty rude. What to know what else is rude? The new winter booties she bought me. How can buying someone shoes be rude, you ask? Because I doan likes to wear the shoes! They feel so funky on my beautiful paws. My paws are too cute to be hidden. Plus they are slippery on this hardwood floor. Oakie no likey. Take ’em off me, ma!!

xx,
Oakie

Hello my friends! It’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. Sorry about that. I’ve been busy traveling the world, going places no dog has gone, and taking long walks on the beach. Oh wait, I didn’t do any of those. Mom did. All I did was stay in the dog hotel and wait for her. On my last day at the dog hotel, they emptied out my room and I knew right then and there that it was time to go home! I was so excited that the kennel employee had a hard time putting on my harness! I was too jittery excited! Mom doesn’t deserve all this excitement! She’s had enough! Fun time for me! I hope there are a lot of trick or treaters tonight so I can bark and scare them with my ferocious growl. Grrr, baby!

xx,
Oakie

EEK! It’s almost the end of June and I haven’t posted anything for this month yet! And who the heck says EEK? Not me! Mom gave me a haircut the other day. I hate it when she cuts my hair, so I often move around. Then one time she snipped my skin. It was just a surface wound, but sh*t that hurt! And I remembered it the next time she tried to cut my hair. I told her to back off, Oakie ain’t havin’ that! But she still cut my hair. Oh wells.

xx,
Oakie

Who knew I had a gay cousin!? He’s cute!!! And I say that in the most heterosexual way.

xx,
Oakie

ZOMG I’m the cutest Thor ever! I love wearing shirts! Actually, I don’t. But there’s not point in fighting it. Mom will put it on me if I like it or not. I guess it doesn’t hurt that I look super adorbs in clothing either. Pardon me, I must summon Mjölnir and strike down some cats! Thundercats! Ho-ohhhhhhhh!!!

xx,
Oakie

Here’s a picture of me with demon eyes. They’re not really demon eyes, just glowing eyes thanks to mom’s camera flash. My eyes always reflect when the flash is on. I tell mom to remember to turn it off before taking a picture of me, but sometimes I’m so dark a flash is needed so you can see my face in the photo. I’m like, just turn on some more lights then! Geez! So lazy!

xx,
Oakie

Hi! Cute picture of me again. Here I am sitting on mom’s bed. She doesn’t usually let me on the bed, but for special photo ops like these, I’ve got free range! Except all I did was sit there and look pretty. She didn’t even let me wipe my face or my butt on her sheets. All this hard work of modeling makes me cranky. Pups just wanna have fun!

xx,
Oakie

I love going on walks. I especially love going to the shopping center with momma. But I am really old and I have short little legs, so it gets really tiring on those walks. Luckily, my momma is thoughtful and she brings a bag along with her in case I get tired. I just hop on in to the bag and away we go! By the way, that’s not momma in the photo. Her arms aren’t that big.

xx,
Oakie

Mom hasn’t taken many pictures of me lately. That is so friggin’ rude of her. I mean, sure sometimes I get annoyed with that camera in my face. But come on! I don’t know a normal life without paparazzi! I need photo ops! Lemme do my thang and take a picture of it while I’m doing it! Geez. This face is too cute not to photograph!

xx,
Oakie