Oakie Plays

Hello there. This is my one post for the month of May. I’m a lazy dog who doesn’t like to blog anymore. Well, not really. My mom is just too busy traveling instead of writing my blog for me.. how am I supposed to type with these furry paws? Who wishes mom would stop traveling and stay at home with me all day and blog about my life? If I had two thumbs, I’d point to myself and say “this guy!”

xx,
Oakie

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?
Or ask the grinning bobcat why he grinned
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

xx,
Oakie

Happy Sunday! I’ve been watching The Walking Dead with mom on Sundays. Ok, that’s a lie. She watches it by herself while I hide in the room and pretend to sleep, but really I’m too scared to watch it with her so I act like I’m sleeping so I’m not forced to watch it with her on the couch. Zombies be scary! I’ll have nightmares if I watch it! What if squirrels became zombies!? Well actually, that would be cool ’cause then I’d actually catch one, but then it’d bite me and I’d be Zombie Oakie. That ain’t cool ’cause I’d eat brains instead of Snausages.

xx,
Oakie

Grandma slept in my room with me last night. It was nice since mom is out of town. I hope she feeds me steak and burgers and french fries while mom is gone! That would be awesome! I think I’ll whisper in her ear while she sleeps that she should feed me these things. I’ll also tell her that mom lets me jump on the bed and rub my dirty face all over her bed pillows. Maybe these next two weeks won’t be so bad after all!

xx,
Oakie

I’ve got the Monday blues. Mom’s leaving in two days. I need a new toy or something. I don’t have enough balls. I mean, squeaky toy balls. And regular balls. Mom had those cut off when I was six months old. So rude. How did she know I wouldn’t want them? Anyway, the more balls the better. I like to scatter my balls all over the floor. I also like to throw my balls in the air, and wave them around like I just don’t care.

xx,
Oakie

Three more days until mom leaves on her world wind vacation. Without me. How rude. At least my uncle will be home to play with me. Grandma too. I wonder if I can get them to feed me some people food while mom is gone. She never lets me have the greasy good stuff.

xx,
Oakie

Looking through old photos and I found one of me and the new trick I learned not too long ago. I think its a horrible and mean trick… holding food on my nose until mom tells me it’s ok to eat. Total torture! How do you expect me to hold still when there is a delightful Snausage on my face? I’d like to see you try that!

xx,
Oakie

I bet mom wonders what I do all day while she’s at work. Here’s a detailed breakdown of my daily schedule:

Sleep
Sleep
Sleep
Bark at squirrel
Chase my tail
Sleep

That pretty much sums it up. I get so much done when she’s gone. Now if only I knew how to open the doors, then I could poop on my own, too!

xx,
Oakie

I really need a haircut. I can barely see behind my bangs. I look like Emo Oakie. But even though I know I need a haircut, I hate getting them. That’s why I hid mom’s scissors. She’s been looking for then since Sunday. HAHAHA!! She has no idea where they are! I totally hid them, but I’m not going to tell you in case she reads this blog. Oh man she’s gonna feel so stupid when she figures out where they are. So for now I guess I’ll just walk around with my impaired vision. It’s all good. I’m not embarrassed when mom throws the ball to me and I have no idea where it is even though it’s right under my nose!

xx,
Oakie

Happy Halloween! Mom dressed me up as a mummy. I played the part perfectly. I was a super unhappy mummy and I moped around in my costume. Mom thought I was acting, but really I just hated my costume and I wanted out. We passed candy to trick or treaters. They all thought I looked super cute. Who can blame them? Sometimes I want to marry myself!

xx,
Oakie