Oakie Doesn’t Do Much

Holy cow! I am one month behind on my blogs! Today is really October 6, but I am dating it Sept 2 because that’s how I roll. Don’t blame me for not updating this site. Blame mom. She’s the one who transcribes my thoughts for me. She has been way lazy. I don’t understand why she can’t just write one little entry a day for me while I take my 18hr naps. Geez.

xoxo,
Oakie

I’m still eating the meatloaf cake from my birthday. Mom made a ton. I think I’m getting sick of it now. Instead of running to my bowl to scarf down the meaty goodness, I just look at it and sit. Then I’ll nibble. Then I’ll sit. I guess you can have too much of a good thing!

xx,
Oakie

Mom has been taking me on a lot of long walks lately. Today’s walk wasn’t longer than the others, but I could not finish and had to plop my butt down on the cement. It was just too hot to walk! Mom had to carry me half a mile home! And I am not the lightest dog either.. I’m a dense 18lbs! Poor mom, her arms are still sore I bet. But that’s okay, I still had fun sitting in her arms and drooling on them as she walked home in the hot sun.

xx,
Oakie

Mom ate some leftover steak tonight. It was so not nice of her to eat that in front of me and not share. It smelled so good. I jumped and I begged and I pleaded and I cried and I wailed and I wagged my tail, but she didn’t budge. She didn’t give me any steak. She said it was too greasy for me, but I think she was just being greedy. How can you eat steak in front of me and not share?! How rude!

xx,
Oakie

My uncle likes to do silly things to me. Like take the adhesive packaging off socks and stick it around my body. That’s nuts! Why would he do that? I’m not socks! I’m not for sale, either! I’m a dog! And that tape is messing up my hair! I need a brush, stat!

xx,
Oakie

Not much going on over here except a whole bunch of cuteness. Yep, I’m cute if you haven’t noticed already. I’m really, really cute.

xx,
Oakie

Mom had the day off today, and what did she do? She went to the movies. Without me. How rude is that? She left me home, all alone, with no one to play with. She even got herself a haircut afterwards. Um, hello?! I need a haircut, too! It’s August and it’s HOT! I need a nice shave on my belly. I need my pubes trimmed, too so that my pee doesn’t catch on to them so much. Hehe. I said pubes.

xx,
Oakie

Mama bought me new treats, but I don’t like them. Why would I want to eat something healthy that has no wheat or gluten in it, when I can eat all the Beggin’ Strips and Snausages I want? It’s a no-brainer! But in the mornings when mom usually feeds me Snausages, she will slip me a healthy treat instead, and I will have no choice but to eat it. Ugh! I hate apple flavored crunchies! Fruit! Yeck!!

Sometimes when mom talks to me I zone out. She will just go on and on and I will have no idea what she is talking about. Sometimes I think she is just talking to herself, so I stop paying attention and look elsewhere. Then she’s all like Hey, Oakie! I’m talking to you! and then I’m all like Huh? And then she’s all like Blah blah blah blah blah, and I’m all like Yeah I’m listening to you. Not! In the end, I fool her and she thinks I’m listening, but really I’m just thinking about squirrels.

xx,
Oakie

Writing blogs is hard stuff! My life isn’t that interesting, so I need to come up with stuff to share with .. uh.. with.. myself.. seeing as no one reads my blogs. But I like to keep the absent informed anyway. So uh, today I had breakfast, then I watched mom go to work, then I slept, then mom came home from work late, then she took me out to poo and pee and I ate dinner. Then I watched her play on the computer and that’s about it. Yay. So exciting.

xx,
Oakie