Oakie Doesn’t Do Much

This is what happens when mom gets lazy and doesn’t feel like cutting my hair. Shag alert! She took me to work one day like this and everyone laughed at me and at her for her poor haircutting skills. But they still thought I was cute even though I was partially blinded by my bangs. I am cute 100% all of the time.

xx,
Oakie

Here I am two years ago when I used to be thin and not have a fat belly like I do now. Look at how fit and lovely I am in this photo. Why, mama, why must you make me fat!?! You feed me twice as much now and we get doubly less the amount of walks! I mean, I’m not complaining about all the food and treats you feed me, but come on, I need more quality walks! Please?

xx,
Oakie

Mom got a new vacuum, and it is super scary!!! I do okay with the old vacuum she used. It sucked. I mean, it sucked as in it wasn’t very good or powerful, and it didn’t suck much crap off the carpet. The new one is so powerful it scares the weeners out of me! As soon as she turns it on I run to another room and hide. I am afraid the suction of it will suck me out of the room and into the vacuum. I am so scurrred.

Help,
Oakie

2008. That was a good year. I was in shape, and I had long shaggy hair. Mom and I took 3-4 walks a day, and we were both fit and had long luscious locks of hair. Not the case today. Today I am 2lbs overweight and mom keeps my hair short because it’s less filthy and keeps the carpet a little cleaner. How rude. I want to be beautiful and fit again! Mom’s taking me down with her!

xx,
Oakie

My favorite kinds of days are days where I do nothing and just lounge around on the floor. I like to lay on my side and rest my fat belly against the carpet. Mom puts down towels all over the floor because I’m a dirty little stinker and I’ll turn the carpet brown. Not my fault she doesn’t bathe me often enough. Okay, maybe it is my fault because I cower when it’s bath time. I hate un-contained water!

xx,
Oakie

When mom ignores me, I like to get my Nylabone and hold it between my paws and chew the ends off. It’s fun and it cleans my teeth at the same time, though I don’t really know it. It’s like a fun, hard, bony toothbrush! Those are so fun to brush with! Too bad it does nothing for my breath!

xx,
Oakie

It’s Saturday and mom is still gone. I hate summer. She goes on vacation way too much. It would be okay if I went with her, but most places she goes does not allow dogs. Why not? Dogs are awesome! And I’m so cute! Who wouldn’t want me as a guest?! They are all meanies if you ask me.

xx,
Oakie

It’s raining again! Argh! How many days straight can it rain here? It blows big time. It means my paws will be getting wet, and mom will be wiping them down before I can go inside. I hate it! I hate having my paws touched! But it must be done or I’ll get the house all yucky inside. The worst is when I step in mud and I get my crevices all icky. That’s the worst when mom tries to clean that out! It’s like.. let go of me paws!! Eek!!

xx,
Oakie

Rain today. Yep. You know what that means. Thunder! And you know what thunder means. I’ll be hiding under the bed or in the closet until mom gets home from work. Why must she always be gone during the day when the thunder comes! It’s so scary at home without her. I guess I’ll hide in my tent until she gets home from work. Hurry, mama!

xx,
Oakie

Happy Friday! I got to sleep in late with mama today. But then it got too late and I whimpered and woke her up because I had to pee so badly! As I predicted, she went out and ran errands without me. But she wasn’t gone for long because it rained all day. I hate it when it rains. I mostly hate it because of the thunder. I hide under mom’s computer desk near all her wires and cables. She tries to get me out of there because I’ll probably end up electrocuting myself, but better that than hearing thunder, right?? Wrong. But I can’t help it. I’m a scared-y cat!

Meow!
Oakie