Oakie Doesn’t Do Much

I’m still stuck at the kennel. Mommy is having a grand time at the beach. I’m in a cage. What’s wrong with this picture? Everything! At least it’s Friday. That means vacation will be over soon for mama!

xx,
Oakie

Dear Diary, I need to stop counting the days because this is getting too depressing! I will just wait for the morning when the ladies that are taking care of me give me a bath, then I’ll know I’ll be seeing mommy soon! She is always so happy to see me, she gives me a hug and a kiss! YAY! Oops, I always seem to write when I’m about to go out for poopoo and peepee, so I’ll chat ya later!

xx,
Oakie

Dear Diary, Day 5 is today. Holy crap. Where the heck is she? I am getting used to being here now. I hope it’s not a two week vacation. That would really suck. But at least the ladies are nice here. I like having my own room, but I can see my doggy neighbors and hear them barking. That annoys me. I like it nice and quiet. I think it’s time for my afternoon poop now!

Love,
Oakie

Dear Diary, Today is day 4 without mommy. I am going out three times a day to poop, which is good because mama takes me out three times a day at home, too. I am also fed twice a day like mama does. The ladies at the kennel are nice, but they aren’t mama, and I miss her. When they give me a bath, I will know that’s the day she will pick me up and take me home! But I have no clue when that day will come! Sad. Miss my mommy. Hope she misses me too.

Love,
Oakie

Mommy went on vacation without me. Again. This time to Hawaii. She told me she was going to take me until she found out they don’t allow dogs on the island without them going through a long quarantine. No fair! I’m cleaner than mommy! Ok sure, I might smell like a wet dog at times, but it’s not my fault mama only gives me a bath once every few weeks! She is probably having a blast on the beach without me, while I am here stuck in a kennel. So unfair!!

xx,
Oakie

Summer sucks! It’s so hot! If I had balls, I’d feel sweat rolling down them! So thank goodness mama snipped them off when I was 6 months old. Phew! Just kidding. Not Phew. More like I can’t believe she took away my manhood before I even became a grown man. Now I’m an old foagie, age 10, without my jewels. Well, I’m not completely 10 yet. I’ll turn 10 in August. The hottest month EVAR! I can feel the sweat roll down my phantom balls!

I went with mom to work yesterday! I was sooo excited! She put the harness on me as if we were going for a walk, but as soon as she grabbed her purse I knew we were going someplace special and I just could NOT contain myself! I was bursting with fruit flavors of joyous joy joy joy! I hopped into the car and cried tears of happiness all the way there. When we parked, I peed and pooed (twice!) before getting inside the office. Oh boy oh boy oh boy I was excited! Then we get into her office, she sits down in front of the computer, and I’m stuck sitting next to her. Hmm, this scenario looks familiar. If I wanted to watch mom on the computer we could have just stayed home!! So now I’m all bored and whimpering because I want to go outside and play! I guess going to work with mom isn’t all that fun. Though I’d rather be with her than at home, sleeping alone.

xx,
Oakie

I have mom trained really well. Whenever she walks past me or looks like she might come near me, I roll over onto my back and lift my paws up. This irresistible move on my part makes mama want to bend down and rub my belly. What a sucker! I walked into the bathroom when mom was in there and as she was about to step over me back into the bedroom, I saw her coming and quickly rolled on my side and cleared the area around my belly, and yep.. she rubbed it! Haha! I have her trained to bring me food, give me treats, scratch my ears, and give me belly rubs! Guess who’s master now! ME!!

Wacka wacka,
Oakie

Happy Memorial Day! I’m at home with mama watching Snow Dogs! What a great way to spend the holiday watching dogs run and bark and go crazy in the snow! This movie sure is cheesy! But I love cheese! Cuba is funny. And Sisqo is also in this movie! Thong Thong Thong-Thong Thong Thong!! Those dogs sure are cute, but they’re not as cute as me. Mama told me so. And mama never tells a lie. She is honest and awesome. That’s no lie! Have a great day!

xx,
Oakie

I have a bad habit. A human habit. I like to bite my nails. Sometimes it gets a little loud as I’m chomping down on them. Mom thinks I’m chewing my Nylabone, but I’m actually biting my paw nails. Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! and then I spit out pieces of my black nails. Sometimes I’m not able to spit them out of my mouth so I swallow them. It’s pretty gross, but I won’t let mom cut my nails, so I gotta bite them. I’m weird!

xx,
Oakie