Oakie Doesn’t Do Much

Hi Internets! It’s Thursday! Do you know what that means? Yup, Throwback Thursday! Sponsored by: My Cuteness.

xx,
Oakie

I just got a haircut, but mommy forgot to cut my bangs. Still cute, though.

xx,
Oakie

Apparently I am not very good at catch.

Hmph,
Oakie

In the past month, mom has taken me to the vet 4 times. Each time cost between $250 and $500. One time was because she found lumps on my sides. They turned out to be fat deposits. $300 for peace of mind. Oops, sorry mom. Another time I had a cyst on my belly and she went to get it checked. The doctor tested the blood from the cyst which was an extra $80 fee. Then right after he checked it, the cyst fell off in the examination room and I was all better. Oops. Sorry again, mom. That same time I went in to check my cough, and I was put on antibiotics to clear it up, but it turned out to be nothing as well. Then I went in again because I have a leaky heart valve and hyperthyroidism, so I had to get an ultrasound and more blood work done, and now I have to be on medication for the rest of my life. Then I saw $$$$$ dollar signs in my vet’s eyes. Sorry, mom. Then today I went in for a teeth cleaning and mom paid $400 for that. Sorry, mom. But you can’t deny that she loves me! I mean come on, who wouldn’t??

xx,
Oakie

Ello, govna! Oakie checking in on his millions of readers! Did you miss me? Sorry I don’t blog much. Mama always leaves the computer high up on the desk, and I can’t reach it. It’s pretty rude. What to know what else is rude? The new winter booties she bought me. How can buying someone shoes be rude, you ask? Because I doan likes to wear the shoes! They feel so funky on my beautiful paws. My paws are too cute to be hidden. Plus they are slippery on this hardwood floor. Oakie no likey. Take ’em off me, ma!!

xx,
Oakie

Ohai there. How are you? I’m good and cute as usual. People are building a house next to mine. I see the workers through my window. They make a lot of noise, so I bark at them constantly. I growl and let them know I’m watching them and they’d better back off! Then when mommy lets me go in the backyard to do my bidness, I hear the noises up close and it freaks the crap out of me and all I want to do is run back inside and hide in my kennel and then bark at them through the window, but only through the window because it’s much quieter with that buffer. I won’t even attempt to pee in the backyard if they are making loud noises outside. I guess I’m all bark and no bite, but don’t tell anyone else that. I need to keep up my tough guy appearance.

xx,
Oakie

Hello my friends! It’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. Sorry about that. I’ve been busy traveling the world, going places no dog has gone, and taking long walks on the beach. Oh wait, I didn’t do any of those. Mom did. All I did was stay in the dog hotel and wait for her. On my last day at the dog hotel, they emptied out my room and I knew right then and there that it was time to go home! I was so excited that the kennel employee had a hard time putting on my harness! I was too jittery excited! Mom doesn’t deserve all this excitement! She’s had enough! Fun time for me! I hope there are a lot of trick or treaters tonight so I can bark and scare them with my ferocious growl. Grrr, baby!

xx,
Oakie

As always, mama went on vacation and left me to suffer at the kennel! She was gone for a whole week. I thought she was never coming back! Then, right before the kennel people said I could go, they stuck me in a tub and washed me and cut off all my luxurious hair! Uncle says I look like a raccoon. If I do, that means I am the cutest raccoon in DA WORLD!!!

xx,
Oakie

Happy July 31st! I thought I’d make a blog entry just ’cause it’s the last day of the month, and I ain’t got nuthin’ else better to do! Well, I could be sleeping and eating a Snausage, but I know how important it is for you to get your daily dose of Oakie! So here I am. Bask in my adorableness!!

xx,
Oakie

I’m a tough dog. When I see people, I bark at them. When I see other animals, I bark my lungs out and make like imma git them! But the one thing I’m a total chicken about is thunder. I am so afraid of thunder. The other day I was out pooping and peeing, and I heard a human making noises on the other side of the fence. I barked at them to tell them to shut up! Then I saw a squirrel and I barked at it to tell that squirrel to shut up! Then I heard thunder and I ran to the closed door, pushed it open with my head, and ran inside to the safety of my mother’s arms. Yeah, yeah.. shut up!

xx,
Oakie