It’s Oakie!

I like this new photo of me. I look so little in this huge house. Not that I am big otherwise. Nope, I’m not fat. I’m not big-boned. I am a thin, nicely toned, hot piece of pooch! Ladies, I’m single! (But I’m missing some huevos, courtesy of my mom. Thanks a lot, ma).

xx,
Oakie

Ugh! I got tired of mom’s photo shoot of me, so I just got up and moved. She takes so long with the pictures! I don’t have all day to just sit there! I have other things to do, like sleep and eat Snausages. I’m going to start charging her for these photos. Snausage currency is an acceptable for of payment. My time is precious.

xx,
Oakie

Ma finally took some new photos of me, except I think she was focusing more on my mini me. And how rude of her to take the photo at that angle.. it makes my butt look so big! I’m really not that fat! Gaw!

xx,
Oakie

Here I am again in my stupid getup. You can actually see my face in this one. Don’t you see the disdain and miserablenessness in my facial expression? I hate this thing! Ma loves it though. She took like a million thousand photos of me in it. That is just a million thousand pieces of evidence of me in a pansy outfit! OMG! Ma! Talk to the paw ’cause the face don’t want to!

xx,
Oakie

I think I’ve posted the photo already, but I love it so much I must post it again. This is how much I hate dressing up. Ma likes to put me in stupid clothes. Doesn’t she know it decreases my manhood? I already have to live with being a part poodle dog with poofy curly hair. And my bark. Have you heard my bark? I sound like a screaming woman. It’s humiliating! Take this dang thing off my head!

xx,
Oakie

Don’t I look cute hanging over the couch like this? Mom put me up to this. I don’t usually pose myself in things of this nature, but I guess I can start doing it from now on if it gets me some Awws and Oooohs. But I’d rather have some Snausages.

xx,
Oakie

What should I be for Halloween? I think I should make it easy on mommy and just be a ghost. I can use the towel she gave me.. the one I tore up and put holes in. It’ll be perfect! Now if I can just make some eye holes.. I want to see where I’m going!

xx,
Oakie

I am very handy around the house. I will help do you laundry (by sitting on it and keeping your clothes warm), I will help vacuum the floor (but I might leave it soggy because I do it with my tongue), and I will help you dust (by sneezing on the surfaces! You might need to re-wipe after that, too). I am a very handy dog to have around. Yeah, you can say I am pretty awesome.

xx,
Oakie

Ma gave me a Milkbone, but I wasn’t hungry, so I just grabbed it with my mouth and let it hang. But not before I tried to dig up some carpet and bury it. Turns out, you can’t really dug up carpet, so I instead tried to dig a hole in the leather couch. That didn’t work either, so I tried to dig a hole in the wood floors. Nope. So then I just ate the Milkbone. Boooring.

xx,
Oakie

Uh, ma? When are you going to check your luggage? I am getting tired of sitting in here. I need to poop!

xx,
Oakie