Archive for May, 2010

I hate it when mom spends too much time on the computer. Sometimes I’ll sit next to her and whine and cry. To shut me up, she will put her hand down on my head and pet me, but that’s all I’ll get, and she goes back to ignoring me and giving the computer all her attention. Well, I’ve had enough! Now if she tries to pet my head, I dodge it as fast as I can. It’s like I’m playing hot potato with her hand.. my head is the potato, trying to avoid her hand and her meaningless petting! Sometimes she won’t even look at me, she’ll put her hand out and try to feel for my head, but I avoid it like the bubonic plague. I don’t want her to just pet my head, I want her to get off the computer and play with me! What’s a dog gotta do for some attention around here? Turn into a computer? Sheesh!

I’m outta here!
Oakie

Yippee Kai Yay! I watched Lost today with mom! I got to see Jacob and The Man in Black as babies! TWIN babies! Aww so cute! I love babies! And then The Man in Black turned into smoke and died! Aww I hate dying! But the worst part was the MiB killing his mama! Wha WHAT?! Who would ever do such an evil deed?!?! Oh, right, I almost killed my mama when I tripped her down the stairs, but it wasn’t on purpose! I love you, mama! Then after the show, we went out for my poo, and I usually poo in silence, but today I made a wet bean fart squirt when I pooped. It made mom laugh. But I didn’t laugh. I just looked at her, wondering why she giggled at my fart.

xx,
Oakie

I barfed last night and woke mom up in the process! Good thing I barfed on the rug instead of the carpet though, ’cause my vomit was super orangy brown. Ew! But bad that I barfed on the only white part of the rug! Hehe. I wasn’t even aiming for it! Oops, oh well. Now there is a yellow spot in the white area of the rug. I guess if I moved a little to the right I would have thrown up on the black area of the rug, but that’s no fun. Mom likes to spend hours getting a stain out anyway! It’s like my gift to her!

Love you, mom!
Oakie

Howdy! I’m getting a little better at my trick! Now instead of swinging my head away, I hold it somewhat still with my mom’s help. But once she takes away her hand, I move my head and the bone falls! I can’t help it, I just want to eat it nom nom nom! But then again, mom took a ton of photos of the bone on my nose, so after 20 shots, I got a little tired and wanted to just lay my head down. I’m much better with balancing a little treat on my nose, really I am!

xx,
Oakie

Dear Mama, happy mother’s day! I hope you have a wonderful day in spite of the busted knee I gave you last night as I tripped you down the stairs (but not on purpose!) Thank you for all the treats you buy me even though you make me work for them and do meaningless tricks. Thank you for petting me no matter how stinky and dirty I can get. Thank you for still hugging me even when I have poop on my butt, and thank you for cleaning the poop off my butt with your bare hands in the bathtub. And thank you for brushing my teeth even though I hate it, but I know it’s good for me. But most of all thank you for loving me for me, even when I am super naughty and deserve a spanking! (just kidding, I never deserve a spanking!)

Hugs and kisses,
Oakie

Today I tripped mom down the staircase and almost killed her. But I didn’t do it on purpose! I just get so excited when we run down the stairs together. She didn’t see me come behind on her right as she took a right turn and she almost stepped on me but instead she lifted her leg back up and she fell instead. Thank goodness we were already on the last two steps, otherwise I might have accidentally sent her to an early grave against the wooden floor. 🙁 That would be really bad. Who would I gush all my unconditional love onto if she were gone? I’m sorry, mama, I’ll never do it again! Just keep an eye out for me next time please! I’m really short!!

xx,
Oakie

My mama loves me lots. She was at the store today and saw that one of my favorite dog foods was on sale, so she bought me 48 pouches of it. She didn’t have to because I already have 50 of them sitting at home. She also bought me another big bag of Beggin’ Strips and Snausages. I still have unopened packages at home, too! Wow I feel so special! I loved greeting her at the front door and sniffing the shopping bags full of delicious goodies. What a treat! Mama also told me that when she was paying for all the food, the cashier said, “You must love your dog.” What an understatement. If she only knew how much I mean to mama. I’m Oakie, her one and only preciousness baby!!

Yay me!
Oakie

I don’t like people touching my paws. I don’t know why, but it just freaks me out! Though, I’m a little used to mama grabbing my paws. She likes to torment me like that. She wipes my paws after every walk and every time I go out to poo. I will wait patiently at the door on the doormat for her to come back and wipe each paw clean. Sometimes when it’s raining outside, she has to wipe them three times! Torture!! But I don’t cry or whine about it. I sit quietly and obediently because I’m a good boy. I even let her step on my paws in the morning. And by step on I mean she taps my paws with her toes. She would never totally step on my paws.. she would crush me! She’s like, over 100 pounds! Fatty!!!

xx,
Oakie

My nose is always runny. I don’t know if it’s allergies or if I just have a leaky nose, but it is always dripping! It is impossible for me to lie on my back for a long period of time because the snot just builds up and drowns me, so if I ever am on my back for too long, I turn over and violently sneeze and I spray my snot on everything! It’s pretty gross. I can see it glistening on the floor and on the shelves and on the couch and on my mom’s feet. She always yells OAKIE! GROSSSS! but I can’t help it if she’s the one carrying me like a baby! She knows the snot is rolling back into my throat when she carries me like that! All I can do is sneeze it all out onto her face. I also sneeze multiple times when I am super excited and when I am really angry at mom. Sneezing is, like, kinda my thing I guess. I guess that’s better than farting. Oh wait, I do that, too.

Today is .. yep you guessed it.. LOST Tuesday! I sat on mama’s lap the entire hour, and we watched it together. Though I have to admit I didn’t sit completely still or watch the entire show. I took a short nap, and I whined a little bit when I needed to stretch my legs, and I also spent a few minutes staring at mom’s beautiful face. But I did pay attention to the end.. sadly, I wish I took my nap then. RIP Jin & Sun! 🙁 (not to forget Zombie Sayid)

xx,
Oakie